The Side of the Cereal Box

I had a somewhat disturbing and largly exasperating experience at the Family Bookstore last Saturday evening. I had gone to purchase the new Superchic[k] CD, as well as the new VeggieTales. As I turned to head back up front to the registers, I was casually glancing at the bookshelves, thinking, “I could use a new ‘God book’ to read.” I was really thinking I’d have to head for the “Charistmatic Interest” section, as it seems more and more of the authors I read are tucked away in that scandalous section. But blocking my line of sight to that section was a row of three bookcases - two with the heading, “Family Life”, and right next to that, “Single Interest”.

I shook my head and laughed. We have two bookcases lined with covers displaying happy, smiling families that the (usually disgruntled) singles can’t help but see as they seek out their “interest” section, while the “Single Interest” bookcase is lined with book covers sorely lacking in any people presence, other than the occasional photo of a doctor (the book author) who’s developed a new “guaranteed” method of match-making. Apparently, there are no happy single people.

Because apparently “single” is a temporary, transitional state, and you’re only single because you’re still looking for someone to marry. We come into this world with a deficiency that must be cured before we can get on with our lives, finding fulfillment and all that. This is the conclusion I came to, since (out of an entire bookshelf worth of books) I only found one book that wasn’t about preparing for marriage, planning your wedding, couples devotions, finding “the one”, etc.

It’s no wonder there are so many bitter, despondent singles out there, even within the Church! We’re giving the impression that, even though we say things like, “Getting married doesn’t make you whole; you’re a whole person now,” what we really mean is, “You’re whole now, but you’ll be so much more when you’re married.” As if there is still something missing, and that’s a bad thing. We tend to discount Paul’s assertion that it’s better to be single - in order to better serve the Lord - because, hey, if no one got married, the human race would cease to exist. (And afterall, he did give us an “out”.)

But it is good to be single!

It’s also hard. We fight with our longings, pray through tears sometimes, get moody and bitter and jealous - and that’s without any help from anyone else! It’s worse when we have (well-meaning) relatives and friends pressing the issue - with teases (however gentle) about a “friend”, or asking what kind of person we’re looking for, or trying to set us up. It makes it hard to be/stay content. And we know, you just want us to be happy. Please, understand that it is possible to be happy and single at the same time - even happy about being single! I am happy and single, and I’m happy about being single. I may not be single forever - in fact, I probably won’t be. But I’m not going to waste my time being miserable, looking for a “cure” for singleness. I’m going to enjoy being single and spending my days in a sacred romance with my God, my Lord, my Savior. That’s all the romance I’m looking for right now.